MENOPAUSE RAGE

Perimenopause, spiritual bypassing, and the lie of the graceful “Mother to Crone” transition.

PERIMENOPAUSE RAGE!!!!

I honestly did not think that peri menopause was going to be so hard.

But at 48, I’m in it. Really in it. And once again, I’m watching a huge life transition get spiritually bypassed and neatly packaged as something beautiful and empowering, while completely skipping the hardest bit.

What’s often sold as a graceful transition from Mother to Crone misses the lived reality entirely.

No one in my family ever spoke about menopause, and suddenly there’s an entire industry talking at women and capitalising on it without telling the truth about what it actually feels like to have PMT 24/7.

Because you don’t wake up one morning as “the Crone.” You wake up confused, teary, volatile, foggy, tender, numb and sometimes all before you’ve even put your achy feet on the floor (yep, achy feet… another fun secret symptom, yippeeee!!!).

Right now, It feels like a second puberty. Like being 14 again, but with fewer pimples, a whole load more responsibility, and the grief of losing your old self. It’s like having to build a whole new identity … and yes, it sounds extreme as I type it, but honestly, that’s how it feels.

On a positive note, I am noticing a “good girl” part of me quietly exiting stage left… and I’ve been enjoying telling some people to fuck off!

I’m writing this in case anyone passes by who’s experiencing something similar. I know I’m not the only one who’s angry about not being prepared for this. And I also know that for some people it passes more gently, which only adds to how isolating it can feel when you’re on the more intense side of it.

Someone recently said, “Well, you’ve got Davina and Mariella talking about it,” and I genuinely thought… what? Am I meant to feel seen because two TV personalities are speaking up? Of course they’re doing important work but then I think ..Women make up half the population of the world, and there is still so much silence and uncertainty around this massive, life-changing transition.

The other day I spoke to a friend who’s come out the other side, and the relief I felt hearing her say the creative blocks passed and that she started painting again.Sigh, I really needed to hear that this might not be forever.

So this isn’t me speaking from a safe distance, once I’m out the other end.

This is me reporting from the trenches ( experimenting with hormones and supplements and diet stuff )

Sending love and understanding to anyone who’s in this too.
X